how to make friends
1. join anime group at school
2. say “yeh ive read the mango”
3. collect panties
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The instructions weren’t clear enough I got my dick caught in the ceiling fan again
how to make friends
1. join anime group at school
2. say “yeh ive read the mango”
3. collect panties
hell yeh
My dick
is in
the ceiling fan
How relationships work:
I like your butt.
However, I can notice other butts. They can be nice too.
But your butt is my favourite butt. It’s the nicest butt. Because it’s mine. And I can touch it.
You ever have those moments where, just out of nowhere, you’re hit with a rock-hard Halloween boner? You are suddenly consumed with desire for pumpkin spice flavored everything, orange and black decorations everywhere you look, skulls, pumpkins, spiderwebs, spooky music, movies like Hocus Pocus and Trick R Treat, stripey stockings on the cheap, weak-ass little fog machines, ect. even though it’s the middle of goddamn June?
i-wanna-get-in-englands-pants:
the worst fuckin thing is
“oh you sing? are you a good singer? SING SOMETHING FOR ME RIGHT NOW”
“do you draw? you do? DRAW…
99% of women say they don’t like men who wear leather pants. This works out perfectly as 100% of men who wear leather pants don’t like women.
me explaining underwear to aliens: we have smaller, secret pants that we wear under our normal pants
This is (1) allegedly not a joke and (2) a Phillip Morris training video in which the imparted marketing strategy is (3) “you should keep in stock the things that customers want” which (4) duh and (5) they re-wrote the lyrics to “Jump” and (6) it may be the most puzzling cultural artifact you will see today.
I…. uh…. huh.
…What?
No, more importantly; Why?
If I ever start a UFO cult this will be the introduction video.